tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post3690668748850643434..comments2023-05-04T08:08:39.681-05:00Comments on rainbow motel: A Rose By Any Other...Rainbow Motelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181387926946193981noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-53232341016021625312012-07-16T14:10:08.799-05:002012-07-16T14:10:08.799-05:00I may have told you this story before but about 8 ...I may have told you this story before but about 8 years into my marriage, I paid to get my old name back. Then realized when I began using it again that 1) I was not the girl who grew up with that name anymore, and 2) Despite what I thought intellectually, I did not like having a different name from my husband. So, I had to pay to CHANGE IT BACK! Ha! But I'm glad I did, especially since we went on to have children and I like all of us sharing a single family name. Interestingly enough, the name we share is not the last name given my husband at birth. He had to sacrifice that after his father died and his mother remarried. His stepfather didn't insist on the name change at all, but the U.S. government, in the early 1960s, wouldn't count my husband as his father's "dependent" if they didn't share a last name.Veronicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17549880282965259884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-40396239425007187602012-07-07T01:20:42.666-05:002012-07-07T01:20:42.666-05:00But it's romantic to "take" a man...But it's romantic to "take" a man's name, right? Remember writing your name plus boyfriend's last name over and over again? What was so appealing about that? Some kind of misguided confirmation that he loves me so much he is willing to snatch my identity so that in the future my friends can't find me on facebook? I have an especially hard time when a young woman swoons at the idea of her beau asking her father for her hand in marriage. And all the machinations some women go through to coax the man to "ask" for her hand in marriage on bended knee, bearing a ring and her acting surprised. It's really quite strange, that so many of these traditions endure.shrink on the couchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13271891110211081990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-16299171066476961532012-06-27T15:28:54.548-05:002012-06-27T15:28:54.548-05:00Absolutely. My issue is less about what choice wom...Absolutely. My issue is less about what choice women make than my amazement with the men in their lives who remain so inflexible.Rainbow Motelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14181387926946193981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-85905361096881045462012-06-27T11:59:46.864-05:002012-06-27T11:59:46.864-05:00I grew up with a very difficult to spell and prono...I grew up with a very difficult to spell and pronounce last name and got made fun of a LOT. When I got married, I got a "plain vanilla" easy last name and didn't even hesitate to change it. That marriage lasted about 5 minutes (ok, maybe a bit longer) but when it ended, there was no question in my mind that I was NOT going to change my name back. My dad was offended, but I didn't care. A few years later when my daughter was born (different guy), she got a long hyphenated Hispanic last name. By the time she got to elementary school, her dad was no longer in the picture, and it was easier to use my last name. She liked it better anyway and when she turned 18, she changed it legally. She hasn’t told her dad yet and isn’t planning to, because he would have a meltdown. Such a touchy subject for so many people, but you have to do what works for you.Life at the Funny Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13163009005598548100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-38811641163443528512012-06-27T09:26:23.247-05:002012-06-27T09:26:23.247-05:00I never considered changing my name. Yeah, there&#...I never considered changing my name. Yeah, there's the whole patriarchy thing of it having been my father's name, but the hell with all that. It's the name I came with. Then, when my (now) husband and I were talking about getting married and having children, we made a pre-nup: girls would get my last name, boys would get his. Please note, we have one child, a girl, and she has my last name. I like being a crank, but I also like the complete and utter logic of the way we handled things. There was one little incident when we enrolled the girl in school and the administration decided he must be the stepfather and not a legal guardian - but I quickly put them to right.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-73574918267534688582012-06-27T08:55:16.002-05:002012-06-27T08:55:16.002-05:00Like you, I have ONE married set of friends who fu...Like you, I have ONE married set of friends who fused their last names when they wed, and they and their daughter go by that hyphenated hybrid name.<br /><br />I wanted to keep my own name when I married, but my husband saw it as a bit of a reservation about our future. I told him, "Hey, Nance MaidenName did a lot of things of which I am proud! I don't want to start over. I like who she is." His response, a little hurt, was, "No one can take any of that away from you. You are still her, but now with me from here on out." It never occurred to me--or him--that he was starting anew as well and could take my name or a hybrid of ours. <br /><br />Rick is so far from being possessive and chauvinistic. We are a team, equal partners in everything. It was never an ownership thing. As a matter of fact, when he became permanently estranged from his family, we consulted a lawyer about changing all our names to MY maiden name. Sigh. "A rose...", indeed.Nancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17627214346956206283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8559159676398284756.post-66190902513376370302012-06-26T14:14:50.446-05:002012-06-26T14:14:50.446-05:00Hey, you're back! Nice to see you. If I ever...Hey, you're back! Nice to see you. If I ever get married again (which will probably happen when hell freezes over and/or the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup) I will not change my name. I did it once, and it was a pain to switch it back after the divorce. Plus I didn't feel much like me with my married name. I have a friend who kept her maiden name when she married. She and her husband gave their oldest daughter the mom's last name, and their youngest daughter the dad's last name. I like that.alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16483907412532940799noreply@blogger.com